


Disentangled from this Nightmare

by GleefulPoppet



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Detox, Healing, M/M, crisscolfer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21996229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GleefulPoppet/pseuds/GleefulPoppet
Summary: One night the PR just becomes too much and something has to change.[Authors Update: I want to be very clear that I don't have an opinion one way or the other about CC. As a brand new fan to Glee at the time I wrote this story, it was one of the ways I dealt with all my Klaine feels. I support both D and C to live their lives as they see fit. I no longer write CC, but I love parts of these stories so I'm leaving them. This is a work of fiction/fantasy and nothing more, it is not meant to encroach on Darren or Chris’s real life.]
Relationships: Chris Colfer/Darren Criss, Crisscolfer - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Disentangled from this Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is my first piece of fan-fic I ever released (earlier this year on Tumblr). This is just a story that popped into my mind clear as day in every detail and is not meant to encroach on Darren or Chris’s real life. It’s a work of fiction pure and simple, based loosely on real-life people that I don’t actually know. Please accept it as just the fictional story it is and THANK YOU for reading my first released fan-fic.
> 
> WARNING: This story addresses bearding.

All he could hear was sobbing and retching. His heart was beating so fast, and he was shaking.

“Darren, open the door! Darren!” his request was starting to become manic. “Darren, please!”

All he was greeted with on the other side of the door was the sound of more heaving.

Chris finally decided to take matters into his own hands. He took off to search the top of the doorways, one of these doors had to have one of those little unlocking master keys. Frantically swiping the top of the doorframes, he finally found one in the extra bedroom and ran back to the master bath.

His mind was racing too—why was the door locked? He never locks the door.

He was shaking, so it was a bit difficult to get the key in that particular little groove and turn the lock. He threw the door open, “Darren, are you…” he couldn’t finish his sentence. The sight before him stopped him in his tracks. There was his beautiful soulmate twisted into a ball sobbing.

He wondered how time could slow down in a moment like this because everything seemed to be in slow motion. He realized that Darren wasn’t _actually_ sobbing—it was so much worse. It was absolute guttural pain being choked by sobs, his body was convulsing, and his eyes were shut so tight. He was rocking in the fetal position on the floor. He started to retch again, but Chris realized that he must have done this so many times before he finally got through the door that there was nothing left in Darren’s body. And once Chris became highly focused on the writhing body before him. He gasped aloud and then quickly covered his mouth.

How could he have lost so much weight so fast? How was his olive skin so pale?

He quickly grabbed a washcloth from the closet, got it wet with cool water, and knelt down by Darren. He smoothed back the sweaty curls from his face and laid the cool cloth on his forehead.

“I’m here, Dare, I’m here,” is all he could think to say. Darren had no energy to protest his presence with him even if he wanted to. Chris was horrified at the scene in front of him, but he wasn’t going to let another gasp or ounce of shock escape his body. This was not the time. He just sat there and gently rubbed Darren’s shoulder for quite a long time.

He noticed that the sobs were becoming more human-like, softer and more steady. Darren wasn’t sweating so hard, and the rocking seemed to change, not coming from a place of pain as much as it was from a place of trying to comfort himself.

Chris didn’t want to move him, but he really felt like if he could get Darren in the shower, it would help. But he quickly realized there was no way Darren could stand for any length of time. A bath, a bath would be perfect.

He rubbed Dare’s arm for a few more minutes before telling him, “I love you, I’m not leaving, I’m going to stand up now, and I’m going to run a warm bath for you, okay?” Darren reached over and squeezed Chris’s hand. It was the first time he had acknowledged Chris since he got there.

He gently picked up Darren’s hand now that it wasn’t clutched intensely around his stomach and gently kissed the back of it a few times. His hand was burning up, and the sensation put a knot in Chris’s stomach.

He slowly stood up and went over to the tub. He pushed the stopper down and started the water, so grateful that their water was easy to get to the perfect temperature so quickly. He grabbed some cedarwood and lavender essential oils out of the basket on the counter and added a few drops of each of them to the water. The aroma was calming, he took a deep breath and tried to center himself for a moment.

He then turned back to his sweet husband, he seemed to be just a little more relaxed, but his eyes were still tightly shut. Chris kneeled beside him and gently, ever so gently put his arms under Darren and started to lift him into a sitting position. He slid one hand up Darren’s back under his shirt to support him and, with his other hand, managed to grab the shirt from the hem and get it off each arm and then Dare’s head. He then unbuttoned his jeans and awkwardly pulled them down as far as he could, then he helped him stretch his legs out so he could pull from the bottom of each leg. He had to lightly tip Darren to each side to get them all the way off. Luckily his boxers had come half with the jeans, so he just had to pull them the rest of the way.

He stood up, still supporting Darren’s back, “Baby, I need you to stand up now. I’m going to help you.” Darren still hadn’t opened his eyes, but Chris put both his arms underneath Darren’s armpits and pulled, Darren did his best to help, but Chris realized just how weak he was.

They managed to get to the tub. Chris gently helped him put one leg at a time in and held him steady as he slid into the water and gently laid his head on the back of the tub. He had stopped sobbing, and Chris saw Darren take his first deep breath of the night through his nose, and then he sighed. It made Chris smile just a little bit; Darren loved the smell of cedarwood.

Chris took off his own shirt and knelt by the tub, leaned over, grabbing the body wash. He put a generous amount in his hands started to massage Darren’s chest. He carefully massaged and scrubbed every inch of him. As he did so, he kept willing Darren to feel the love pouring out of his heart for him. He hoped he could feel that over the deep concern that was also there. As he scrubbed and massaged, his mind wandered a bit, he knew why Darren was up here in the first place, and he winced.

***

_Darren had been out of town for almost six days on what they had to come to call “PR trips.” An hour earlier, he had burst through the door looking exhausted, but his face genuinely lit up to see Chris coming towards him. Then his body immediately went stiff, and he grabbed his suitcase by the handle instead of pulling it beside him, and took the stairs three at a time, yelling back at Chris, “I need a decom and now!” It was their slang for “decontamination shower.”_

_At the time, Chris groaned loudly and shouted up the stairs after him, “You better hurry up, mister. I need to kiss your handsome face!”_

_His thoughts at the time then drifted to how horrible the week must have been if he wouldn’t even hug or kiss him upon returning home. Usually, he was greeted with almost a tackle, a big wet sloppy kiss to be hilarious, and then a sweet whispered, “I’ve missed you so much, and I love you, and you are all I want,” in his ear before running off for his decom. Darren always felt so “gross” after these trips, and this was his way off resetting himself on his return home._

***

Snapping his mind back to the here and now and watching his hands glide over his husband’s skin, he was brought back to all his fears staring back at him. He couldn’t believe the state of Darren’s body. How did this happen? What was wrong?

Darren was so much calmer, his body would still shiver and shake every few minutes when a whimper would escape his lips from all that deep crying, but he was so much more relaxed. And to Chris’s relief, he seemed to be cooling down quickly. Maybe the alarming heat of his body was just from all the crying.

After thirty minutes or so, the water was cooling off, and now Chris was afraid this would go the other way and Dare would be shivering from the cold.

“Baby, you ready to get out? I’ll help you.”

Darren, who still hadn’t opened his eyes, nodded yes.

Chris opened the linen cupboard and found the largest, most fluffy towel they owned. He walked back over to the tub and once again gently tugged under Darren’s arms to get him up on his feet. He wrapped the towel around him, helped him step over the tub, lead him into the bedroom, slipped the covers back, and helped Darren lay down. He dried him off as quickly as he could while still being exceptionally gentle. He noticed that Dare winced when he was drying right under the rib cage. He must be so sore from everything his body just went through.

Chris pulled the towel out from underneath him and then covered him with the sheet and blanket. He went back into the bathroom, hung up the towel, and saw D’s favorite lotion sitting on the counter. He grabbed it and went and sat on the bed. He pulled the sheets back off Darren’s legs, put a generous amount of lotion in his palm and rubbed his hands together vigorously so the cream would be warm. Taking his time he then massaged it up and down Dare’s legs and feet. He then covered his legs back up with the sheet and then pulled it off his chest and did the same. As horrible as this situation was —he wanted to help, and he enjoyed doing this small act of service for the love of his life. He was taking deep breaths, focusing on how much he loved Darren, trying to be fully present. To be honest, it was keeping his own fears at bay. What was happening?

Darren let out a few soft purrs as Chris’s hands massaged the lotion over Dare’s body. Dare suddenly stirred a little bit. He managed to whisper, “I love you, Chris, thank you.” 

Chris’s heart stopped when he heard the words “I love you, Chris,” how could that still happen after all these years? They joked about being an “old married couple” sometimes, but he never ever took it for granted. There was no dream bigger than growing old with the love of his life.

He stood up and wiped the excess lotion on his own bare chest. He went into the bathroom, drained the tub, brushed his teeth, and then realized that Darren probably had the worst taste in his mouth, but there was no way he was going to be able to brush his teeth for him, so he and grabbed the peppermint oil and turned off the lights in the bathroom. He walked back into the bedroom and told Darren he’d “be back in a flash.”

He ran down the stairs to grab a cup of crushed ice and was back at a lightning-fast speed. He laughed because he thought to himself, “Our friend Grant would have been proud of that.” Even in this dark moment, he was such a nerd at heart and secretly that is what Darren and Chris love most about the other. And to be honest, humor was one of Chris’s best coping mechanisms.

He asked Darren if he wanted a drop of peppermint oil. Darren opened his mouth, so he took that as a yes and carefully dropped some in. He then told Darren he had brought him some ice chips and slipped one into his mouth; his face immediately relaxed. Chris could only imagine how thirsty he was after crying so hard and all the other retching and heaving.

He asked Alexa to play one of their favorite “quiet time” playlists and sat there quietly rubbing Darren’s arm softly feeding him ice chips every few minutes.

When the chips were gone, Chris undressed down to his boxer-briefs and thought about putting on pajamas but decided not to. One of Darren’s most favorite things in all the world was what they had always lovingly referred to as “skin time”—just having their skin touch as much as possible. Sometimes it might just be their bare arms on the couch binge-watching their favorite shows, and sometimes it was all their skin. It wasn’t charged with sexual energy at all, yet sometimes it is the most intimate thing either of them could imagine. It was a way to reconnect with each other through all the insanity they lived through.

Chris went around to his side of the bed, slipped between the covers, and scooted on his right side as close to Darren as he thought he should. He didn’t want to smother him after the ordeal he has just been through, so he lightly pressed his knee and calf up against Darren’s and then started rubbing his left arm in slow, up and down strokes.

Darren’s eyes fluttered open for the first time since this whole nightmare started hours ago. He looked and Chris and said ever so faintly, barely a whisper, “Please hold me tight, and don’t let go.” Chris immediately responded by sliding his arm underneath Dare’s head. There was a perfect natural spot in the crook of Chris’s arm where Darren had always “just fit”—his missing puzzle piece. He scooted as close to him as he possibly could, lightly rubbed his chest with his left hand, and with his right hand, which was under Darren’s head, he played with his hair.

Chris watched as Darren seemed to use his last ounce of energy to nestle even tighter into Chris’s body. He let out a deep sigh, a shiver came through his body, leftover from the sobbing, and then immediately fell asleep.

Chris watched him for a long while, just in case he woke up again. While he laid there, he couldn’t help the feeling of unease. The not knowing what happened was terrifying to him. But as Darren’s face finally relaxed, his breathing became rhythmic and deep, and Chris was finally able to slip into sleep himself. But just before he drifted off, he whispered into Darren’s amazingly soft, curly black hair, “I’ll never let go–ever.”.

***

The next morning the sun started creeping in through the cracks in the blinds and curtains. One ray of sunshine was shining right over Darren’s face. Chris lamented that he hadn’t had the good sense to make sure the curtains were tightly closed last night before he got in bed, but in all fairness, he had a lot on his mind.

Darren started to stir in his arms and woke up slowly, making small smacking noises with his tongue in his dry mouth, trying to move his limbs, trying to open his eyes. He winced and, with a hoarse, raspy voice, said, “Oh my hell! Why am I in so much pain?” Once he got his eyes open and saw Chris staring back at him, he remembered all too well why he was.

“Oh, Chris, I’m so sorry!” he was suddenly flustered, and Chris could see that hysteria rising back up in Darren’s eyes.

Chris just lightly started rubbing his chest again, started twisting Darren’s black locks in his fingers, trying to keep his voice even. “It’s okay, we’re okay, we’re okay, and I’m never letting you go.”

“Please take a deep breath, for me?” Darren complied, Chris took one too. “One more…”

“I don’t want to push you but do you want to tell me what is going on? Are you ready? Or do you want to lay here for a bit longer? Tell me what you need, anything, and I’ll make it happen for you”.

Chris could see the tears start spilling out of Darren’s eyes, he didn’t say anything, but he kept direct eye contact with Chris. There was so much behind those eyes Chris wasn’t sure of right now, and that startled him.

One of the strongest bonds in their relationship is how they can keep eye contact for an indefinite amount of time. It is usually an outside force that breaks it. Their friends have always commented on it. Chris and Darren could leave the world behind and have silent conversations, intimate moments and strengthen each other with an entire room of people surrounding them. What is impressive about it, their friends say, is that they don’t even have to be right next to each other. They’ve always had it whether they were two inches or twenty feet apart.

Darren takes a deep breath, and Chris can see the determination and resolve that he is laboring to muster to get the next words out. “I feel defiled. I feel like my humanity is slipping away from me. I feel so angry. I feel so hurt. So betrayed. I’m terrified of the future, Chris.” the words were tumbling out now fast and furiously.

“I feel like I’m going to shatter, one more defiling act or lie, one more manipulated photo, one more red carpet walk without you, one more clickbait headline, and I’m going to completely fall to pieces. I’m terrified that next time neither you nor I will be able to put me together again. Look what happened last night? I was swimming—no, trapped—in some sort of dark abyss—oh my god, what if you hadn’t been here? What would have happened to me, Chris?” The tears started flowing again, and he threw himself into Chris’s chest and started sobbing again.

Chris prayed that the blood boiling underneath his skin wouldn’t betray him. It was the “big boys and the PR crap” again—of course it was. The situation was getting worse, and they both knew it. Their life together had been some kind of sick sociological experiment. A mix of high school bullies that never grew up, power-hungry leeches, big shots hiding their sins in their fame, and the horrific homophobia in Hollywood. It was almost unbearable the last few years, but now it was turning into a deadly cocktail. He looked down at Darren’s body as proof.

Chris rubbed Darren’s back gently and just let him cry. Every few minutes, Darren would whisper or yell something else about what he had been asked to do the last few days, the last few years. It was just all spilling out of him. He was detoxing from all the negative energy.

Chris would repeat over and over and over, “I’m here, I love you, I’m not letting go.”

And he vowed right then and there that somehow, someway, they were going to disentangle themselves from this nightmare by the end of the year no matter what it cost them. Nothing was worth this anymore (if it ever was, he thought dolefully). He didn’t know what the road ahead would look like, but he was determined more than ever to make sure that this man he was holding, whom he loved more than anything in the world, would fly free.

As long as they had each other, nothing else mattered—not anymore. He wrote books about fairy tales for heaven’s sake, and he was going to write their happy ending, “No…” he thought, and then corrected his own thoughts…

“Darren, we’re going to start writing the next chapter of our book together, and we’re going to start today. And even though our story is at the terrifying part, the part where we’re facing the demons and dragons, the witches and hags, the legions of armies they’ve sent after us, it’s you and I together. We’re going to have our happily ever after, I promise. We’re going to figure this out once and for all.”

***

And the best part about Chris? When he sets his mind to something, he makes it happen. And this time? This time, they pushed him and someone he is fiercely loyal to just way too far.


End file.
